10 Strategies to Regulate Your Nervous System

For me, it often looks like this: I am doing normal life, answering texts, making dinner, trying to stay on top of everything, and suddenly I realize my shoulders are up by my ears. My body is tense, my patience is thin, and my brain is scanning for what I forgot. That is nervous system dysregulation, and it is more common than people think.

This is nervous system stuff.

We spend a lot of time trying to manage our thoughts, and yes, thoughts matter. But underneath our thoughts and emotions is something more primal and more powerful: your nervous system. It is your body’s built in protection system. It is constantly scanning your environment, your relationships, your workload, and even your own internal sensations for one thing: safety.

Psychologist Stephen Porges uses the word “neuroception” to describe this. It is the nervous system’s automatic, below awareness ability to detect cues of safety or danger. You are not choosing it. Your body is doing it for you, all day long. That is why you can logically know you are safe and still feel anxious. Your nervous system may be responding to a cue it interprets as threat, even if the threat is not physical.

When your system feels safe, you tend to feel more grounded, connected, and flexible. You can problem solve. You can tolerate discomfort. You can communicate without spiraling. You can rest. When your system does not feel safe, you shift into survival mode. That might look like anxiety, racing thoughts, irritability, people pleasing, perfectionism, shutdown, avoidance, or numbness.

None of those responses mean you are weak. They mean your body is trying really hard to protect you.

Research on stress physiology shows that chronic activation of the stress response elevates cortisol and can disrupt sleep, mood, immune functioning, and cognitive flexibility over time. In everyday terms, when your nervous system has been in a prolonged fight or flight state, it becomes harder to focus, harder to feel patient, harder to feel confident, and harder to feel like yourself. That is why nervous system regulation is not just a wellness trend. It is foundational.

And here is the part I want you to hear clearly: regulation is not about becoming calm all the time. Regulation is about recovery. It is about shortening the time it takes to come back to steadiness after something activates you.

That is what resilience actually is. So let’s talk about how to do it.

What Nervous System Dysregulation Can Look Like

When people hear “dysregulated,” they often picture panic attacks. But dysregulation can be loud or quiet. It can be anxious energy or shutdown energy. Some people feel revved up. Some people feel checked out. Some people swing between both. You might feel wired but tired. You might get stuck replaying conversations at night. You might find yourself overly sensitive to criticism, even small comments. You might feel a constant sense of urgency, like you should be doing something even when you have a moment to rest. Or you might feel numb, flat, and unmotivated, as if you cannot access your own emotions. All of these can be nervous system states. They are not character flaws. A helpful reframe is this: your nervous system is not misbehaving. It is responding.

Strategy One: Use Your Breath to Signal Safety

Breathing is one of the quickest ways to communicate with your nervous system because it is a direct line into your physiology. When you are anxious, your breathing naturally becomes shallow and fast. That is part of the survival response. But research shows that slow breathing, especially with longer exhales, supports parasympathetic activation, which is the part of your nervous system associated with calming and recovery.

If you want a simple place to start, try this: inhale for a count of four, then exhale for a count of six. Keep the breath gentle, not forced. Do it for even 1 minute. You do not have to do it perfectly. The goal is not perfect technique. The goal is to lengthen the exhale, because longer exhales signal to the body that the threat has passed.

If you do nothing else from this blog, do this one. It is simple, private, and surprisingly powerful.

Strategy Two: Ground Through Your Senses

When the nervous system is activated, the mind tends to time-travel. It goes into what-ifs, future catastrophes, or past regret. Grounding is the practice of bringing yourself back to what is actually happening right now. Mindfulness research consistently shows that anchoring attention in present moment sensory experience reduces rumination and stress reactivity. This is why the simplest grounding exercise often works best.

Look around and slowly name what you see. Notice textures, colors, and shapes. Feel your feet on the floor. Notice the temperature on your skin. If you want a structure, the five-four-three exercise works well, but you do not need to turn it into a checklist. The point is presence. This is your nervous system learning, in real time, that you are here, and you are safe enough.

Strategy Three: Move Stress Through the Body

Stress is not only mental. It is physical. When your body prepares for danger, it releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. If that energy has nowhere to go, it gets stored as tension, restlessness, and agitation. Movement is one of the most natural ways to complete the stress cycle. This does not have to be a workout. In fact, some people feel worse when they push their bodies too hard while already dysregulated. Think gentle, rhythmic, and supportive.

A walk around the block. Stretching your shoulders and hips. Swaying your body. Doing a few slow squats. Even shaking out your hands can help. You are not trying to burn calories. You are trying to help your body finish what it started. Your nervous system understands movement.

Strategy Four: Use Connection as Regulation

This is one of the most important strategies, and it is often overlooked. Humans are wired for co-regulation. Attachment research shows that safe connection lowers stress responses and supports emotional stability. We regulate best in a relationship. If you are spiraling, it can help to hear a calm voice. To sit near someone safe. To make eye contact with someone who feels grounded. Even a brief conversation with a supportive person can shift your nervous system out of isolation and into steadiness. Sometimes the most regulating thing is not a technique. It is a person. And if you do not have access to someone in the moment, even remembering what it feels like to be supported can help. Your nervous system responds to felt sense, not just facts.

Strategy Five: Support Regulation Through Sleep

Sleep is not just rest. It is nervous system repair. When sleep is disrupted, emotional reactivity increases and stress tolerance decreases. This is well established in sleep research. It is one reason why anxiety often feels worse after a bad night.

Regulation becomes much easier when you protect the basics: consistent sleep and wake times when possible, dimmer light in the evening, fewer screens close to bedtime, and a wind-down routine that signals safety. Even small changes, like ten minutes of quiet before sleep, can help. If your nervous system is on high alert, it makes sense that sleep would be harder. So instead of blaming yourself, approach sleep as part of regulation, not another task you are failing.

Strategy Six: Create White Space

Sometimes regulation is not about adding more self-care. Sometimes it is about subtracting what is constantly activating you. Notifications are a good example. Even if you do not open them, your nervous system registers them as demand. Same with constant news, constant multitasking, and a schedule with no margin. These are small stressors, but they stack. Creating white space is one of the most regulating things you can do. That might look like leaving ten minutes between appointments, driving without a podcast, or taking a short pause before responding to messages. Your nervous system needs breaks from input.

Strategy Seven: Use Temperature Shifts for Quick Relief

Temperature is a powerful nervous system cue. In evidence-based treatments like Dialectical Behavior Therapy, cold water on the face is used to activate what is called the diving reflex. This reflex can slow heart rate and support parasympathetic activation. If you are feeling panicky or overwhelmed, try splashing cool water on your face, holding a cold pack on your cheeks, or holding an ice cube in your hand while breathing slowly. This works best when you pair it with a longer exhale. It is simple, and it is grounded in physiology.

Strategy Eight: Name the Emotion

There is research showing that labeling emotions reduces activation in the amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, and increases activity in the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain involved in regulation and reasoning. One of the most well known findings is that simply naming what you feel can reduce intensity. So instead of, “I am falling apart,” try, “I am feeling anxious.” Instead of, “I cannot handle this,” try, “I am overwhelmed.” This is not minimizing. It is clarifying. It creates space. When you name it, you stop merging with it.

Strategy Nine: Practice Self-Compassion as a Regulation Tool

This one is huge. When your nervous system is activated, your inner critic often gets louder. You may tell yourself to stop being so sensitive, to get over it, to handle it better. But harsh self-talk is experienced by the nervous system as a threat. It piles on. Research by Dr. Kristin Neff and others shows that self-compassion is associated with lower anxiety and greater resilience. Compassion communicates safety. It tells your system, I am with you. A simple phrase can help: “This is hard, and I am doing my best.” Or, “Of course I feel this way. I have been carrying a lot.” The goal is not to be cheesy. The goal is to be kind enough that your body can soften. Compassion is not indulgence. It is regulation.

Strategy Ten: Create Predictability Through Small Rituals

Nervous systems love predictability. Routine signals safety. When everything feels uncertain, even small rituals can create stability. Morning coffee in the same chair. A short walk after lunch. A consistent evening routine. A weekly check-in with yourself. A short Sunday reset. You cannot control life, but you can create anchors. These anchors become cues of safety. Over time, predictability builds steadiness.

A Personal Note

There was a season where I felt constantly on edge. Nothing dramatic was happening, but my body felt tight all day. I was more reactive than I wanted to be. I had trouble sleeping. My mind kept scanning for what I might have missed. I kept thinking I needed to fix my thoughts. I tried to be more positive. I tried to be more disciplined. None of that made my body feel safe. What helped was realizing I had been living in low-grade survival mode. I was always responding. Always consuming information. Always pushing. When I started practicing regulation in small ways, especially breath, movement, and reducing micro stressors, things shifted. Not overnight. But gradually. And that is what I want for you too. Regulation is not one big breakthrough. It is a series of small returns.

Final Thought

If your nervous system feels dysregulated right now, it does not mean you are broken. It may mean you have been carrying more than you realize. Your body is doing what it was designed to do. It is trying to protect you. The goal is not to never feel anxious. The goal is to learn how to come back to yourself. A slower breath. A grounded moment. A softer inner voice. A small ritual that signals stability. These practices may look small on paper, but they add up in real life. Your nervous system learns through repetition. The more often you give it cues of safety, the easier it becomes to find steadiness again.

You deserve a life where your body feels safe enough to rest.